Monday, February 01, 2016

Charli's Skyrim Elder Scrolls V Quotes

Little Rose
Note: I get really Southern and say the most random, awful, derogatory things while gaming. It's the rage.

(While watching prisoner try to escape) "Ha! Run, nigga!"
(While escaping Dragon) "I can't see! I CAN'T SEE! How am I supposed to get away from you Dragon if you keep spitting fire everywhere?! Jerk."

NPC: You're pretty. Just stay away from my husband...
Me: B**ch, I was not THINKING about your husband! Now that you SAID something I have to holler at him!
(after failing to flirt with her husband) "Girl you are SO lucky! If this was The Sims, he would be MINE!!!!"

"Oh God, MY AIM!!!!"
"I wish I had a gun."
"Ten gold to stay in this crappy hotel? Screw that, I'll sleep outside."
"Oh my God, really? There is a dragon out here right now! I don't want to deal with this! I'll pay the money!"
(Three hours later)
"It's still OUT HERE! Are you serious right now?!"

(Encountering a hostile NPC)
"DUDE I was just going to talk to you! Taste my battle-ax b**ch! You better have some money on you."
(NPC has no money)
"NO MONEY! You know what, I'm going to leave you right in the middle of this road naked. LET THAT BE A LESSON TO ANYBODY ELSE!!"

"Really b**ch?"
"I just wanted some chicken..."
"Howl all you want wolves, I've got something for you."
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING! Is that that giant rat thing from The Princess Bride!?"
"I don't care if you are the Jarl's daughter, you don't talk to grown people like that! I kill dragons! I will beat up a little smart mouth kid..."
"Why am I not drunk right now?"
"He's hot..."
"I have a sword, a mace, and steel arrows and all you have is a dagger and you are trying to ROB me? You must be high."

Adventures with my Housecarl Lydia:
Lydia: (when I accidentally hit her because my aim is crap) I'm on your side!
Me: Then get the hell out of my way!
"Lydia, girl, don't charge them like that!"
"Okay, Lydia, you are such a freaking liability right now. Just wait over here and I'll come back for you."
"I SAID WAIT! Jesus! This woman!"
"You know what girl, just go ahead and handle it. I'm just going to look around here and see what I can steal."
"You douchebags better not kill my housecarl! I will seriously start over and put lightening bolts up EVERYBODY'S backsides!"

(Traveling with an NPC that I need for something)
"DUDE! You don't bring your fists to a knife fight! You better not die."
"GIRL! That is a Sabre Tooth tiger! You cannot fight that with your fist a**head! And look, it killed you! Great genius, now I gotta start the f**k over!"
"You know what, you stay here, me and Lydia will go handle our business, then we will come back and get you. Stupid a**. I will be here all day messing with you."
"What the hell kind of glitch was THAT?!"

"I need a husband to help me beat this game! I mean, I need a husband for other reasons too but mostly to help me beat this game."

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Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. Proverbs 16:24