Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Purple Passion

Purple Passion
Remember the Purple Passion story/joke?

It was one I learned in Tween Prison. You probably call it Middle School or Junior High; that hot bed of anxiety, sweat, oppression, and confused and frustrated sexual energy.

I'll tell it as best as I can remember:

A guy is hanging out with his friends when one of them dares him to approach a woman and say "Purple Passion" to her.
He sees this as the easiest dare ever so he approaches a beautiful woman and says 
"Purple Passion."
The woman immediately becomes angry and stalks away. A man approaches him and asks him what he said to the woman to cause her to become so upset.
"All I said was Purple Passion."
The man becomes infuriated. "You are a sick and horrible person!" he says and calls the police.
The police show up and asks the guy what he said. He's nervous but he certainly can't lie to the police. So he takes a deep breath and says...
"Purple Passion."
He is arrested on the spot and put in jail. 
Twenty years later, finally free yet without a home or any friends, the guy wanders the world confused and sad over what has become of his life. He tells a stranger his story.
"And it was all because of what I said," he ends sadly. "And the worst part is I don't even know what it means."
"What did you say?" the stranger asks.
"Oh I can't say it. Horrible things will happen."
"It can't be THAT bad."
"Oh you have no idea, it's awful. Look what has happened to my life."
"Well you can tell me. I promise not to get you in trouble."
The guy takes a shaky breath. After all, his life could not get any worse than it already was.
"Purple Passion."
He shut his eyes and waited for it, but the stranger only laughed. He opened his eyes and frowned at him. 
"What is so funny! Those two words ruined my whole life."
The stranger shook his head. "Do you want to know what that means?"
"Oh yes," the guy said. "I've been wanting to know for years but I've been so afraid to ask!"
"Okay, you see that man sitting across the street? He knows what it means and he'll tell you."
The guy thanked the stranger, relieved that he would finally learn what Purple Passion means. He hurried into the street towards the man, was hit by a car and died. 

And the moral of the story is: look both ways before crossing the street.

That is one of the few things I learned in Tween Prison. So much for academics. 

Contact me for a trade. 

If you dare!

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Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. Proverbs 16:24