Day two of the challenge. Interesting blog topic considering. Let me explain.
Years ago--almost twenty when I think about it--I was in the midst of caring for two tired and cranky toddlers. Two gorgeous little girls, each of them refusing to leave both my aching hips. Each of them nearly as tall as me. (I'm five feet tall, easily outgrown by the modern toddler.) I was walking up and down the hallway of my home, calmly singing with a combination rock and bounce as they cried in that sleepy tired way toddlers do. Getting heavier by the minute as they each began to relax.
As I came back up the hall, my mother said to me: "You have the patience of Job."
I chuckled wearily at the time. She was being too nice. I was in some kind of daze in those moments, on autopilot, as I walked and bounced and rocked and sang.
After the babies were asleep and I settled down for the night, I read the book of Job again as it had been a while. (I tend to gravitate towards Luke, Songs, Proverbs, and Psalms when I pick up the Bible.) After reading, I realized my mother was not being nice, she was being incredibly gracious! No way do I have this kind of patience! This was something beyond human!
Years later, I still did not believe I had what Job had as the one test I had, I failed miserably. At least in my estimation I did.
Today, I'm still not sure why she felt I had that kind of patience. What makes it interesting is that my mother has Dementia now--and I am one of her primary caretakers. Right now, she is like a toddler times ten, at times cooperative, at times stubborn. Many times it's all good. Sometimes I just shrug and shake my head to which she will remind me that I am still her mother. That is when she remembers who I am, which most of the time she does.
I think often about what she said to me all those years ago. She saw something in me then that I did not see in myself. Things do happen for a reason. Perhaps her saying that to me--and the fact that I never forgot it--is just what needed to happen given our current situation. I recall it every time I feel like the day was not as much of a success as I hoped it would be.
Does The Patience of Job include patience with oneself? Perhaps that is why I still have trouble believing it.