Of course I say that NOW. Then I get around that space and that smell and start feeling a certain kind of way. Next thing I know, I'm auditioning again.
Father and Mother need me more than the Theatre right now. Incidentally, so do my books and my art and my deep need for a husband and children of my own.
The atmosphere is shifting in the Theatre World, even locally. Changing, yet not entirely in a good way. Of course, we need to be made uncomfortable for much needed changes to happen. I feel suffocated, though. The walls closing in. Bullied into silence without being bullied at all. As an Artist, I don't like this feeling.
The publishing industry has been going the same way as the Theatre these days. That's pretty scary, in my opinion. Writers have always been able to get away with all manners of "bad" behavior and I think it should stay that way. Ready for an unpopular opinion? Sensitivity Readers are a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad idea! I--at one time--found myself thinking they were a good thing. I even thought of engaging in it myself. Then the Kool Aid wore off. But I am a cock-eyed optimist, I always look for the good in most things. And the good side of this is it has awakened a sleeping giant of rebellion in me.
I want to Trigger the nuts out of people right now! Like pose in a meat dress, straddling a rifle, in front of a Confederate Flag, while reading from Revelations as George Carlin's Seven Words plays on loop kind of triggering. I've got two out of those five things. Care to guess which?
I have a long history of being unable to decide if I want to be an Indy Author, a member of the elusive Big Five club, or both! I'm at the point now that I'm treating it the same as I am with acting.
What I mean is, I'm saying farewell to the stage, but I will not turn down a film offer from Martin Scorcese, Tim Burton, or Quentin Tarantino. So if any of you know those guys...
I will self-publish, but I will not turn down an offer of representation that will make me a member of the Big Five club. Those publishers are about dollars and cents and will publish anything that will bring in the publicity and the sales. It's their gatekeepers that have me concerned.
At least the Art World is still brazenly bold and mostly unbothered. Here's hoping it stays that way!
If not, I still have that flag.